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Last in the Coffin
}} Elan mourns his brothers death, but Laurin Shattersmith disintegrates his body to prevent resurrection. In the Abyss, Sabine rages while Vaarsuvius remains bound by the IFCC. Cast * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Elan ◀ ▶ * Vaarsuvius (as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Blackwing'' (as spirit)'' ◀ ▶ * Nale ◀ * Tarquin ◀ ▶ * Sabine ◀ ▶ * Laurin Shattersmith ◀ ▶ * The Inter-Fiend Cooperation Commission ** Cedrik ◀ ▶ ** Lee ◀ ▶ ** Nero ◀ ▶ * The Army of the Empire of Blood Transcript Laurin: Good riddance. Tarquin: Laurin, please. Give them a chance for some melodrama. Elan: Nale! Come on, get up! Don't you want to hurt me or something? Elan: Look my throat is all exposed! Elan: I know now that we were never going to be a family, but... he didn't deserve this! Haley: Elan, he... kinda did. He was a terrible human being. Elan: Yeah, but—how can I be mad at him? What if it had been me? Raised here? Would I be the jerk and he be the hero? Haley: I... don't know. Haley I do know your father is an ass for killing your twin brother in front of you. Tarquin: Oh, please. I tried my best but he was never more than a B-list recurring villain and frankly, Elan's outgrown him. Laurin: Eye for an eye. Laurin psioically disintegrates Nale's corpse. Laurin: Malack's never returning. Neither's his killer. Elan: *gasp!* The dust of Nale's disintegrated corpse blows away in the wind. Elan: No! NO! Elan: Come back! Tarquin: A bit of overkill, perhaps, but it's just as well. Tarquin: He was just cluttering up the obvious narrative arc between Elan and myself anyway. Elan: He was your SON! Not a plot element! And if he was kind of a crappy person, it's because YOU made him that way! Tarquin: All the more reason for me to clean up after myself, then. Tarquin: I admit I'm surprised by this anger, Elan. Tarquin: I was under the impression that there was no love lost between the two of you. Elan: I never wanted him dead. Ever. Tarquin: Well, then you're in the minority. Tarquin: I can't think of anyone else who spent any amount of time with Nale who didn't at least entertain the idea. Cut to the Abyss. Vaarsuvius and Blackwing are strapped to a table in front of the three directors of the IFCC. Sabine has thrown a couch at the bleeding HDTV in rage. Cedrik: ... Nero: ... Lee: That's coming out of your holiday bonus. D&D Context * Psionic Disintegrate is a 6th level Psion power. It deals 22d6 damage (5d6 if the target makes their saving throw) with a ranged attack beam. If the target is inanimate or if it is reduced to 0 or fewer hit points, it is completely disintegrated. Once disintegrated only a True Resurrection or two Wishes could bring him back. The only characters introduced in the story with the power to cast such spells are Xykon and Redcloak, who are unlikely to care about Nale. Trivia * The title is a play on the common phrase "the last nail in the coffin" and the homophone of the elided word, "Nale". * This is the final appearance of Nale, leader of the Linear Guild, arch-nemesis (in his mind) of the Order of the Stick and evil-opposite to Elan. He first appeared in #43, and has had 115 appearances with 37 additional appearances in bonus material. The only remaining member of the Linear Guild is Sabine, though it is possible that Thog is still alive as well. All other members are dead or have abandoned the Guild. At the time of this strip's publication, Nale was the most frequently occurring character outside of the Order of the Stick and their pets, so his loss in a manner that is nearly certain to be final is quite dramatic. External Links * 914}} View the comic * 299944}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Psionic Disintegrate Category:Tarquin's Breakdown